Today.

by

Today, I want to quit rescue.

Today, I called a shelter 4 times about a dog that is set to be euthanized on Sunday.

Today, I emailed the same shelter in case they didn’t get my phone messages.

Today, I called back a 5th time and finally got a live person on the phone. (She said she’d never gotten my messages, but she’d have someone call me back.)

Today, I got a call from a panicked adopter who needed to return her pet immediately.

Today, I coordinated weekend arrangements for 2 puppies who need an alternate place to hang out this weekend & next.

Today, I got a text message about a foster pup who puked on his brand new bed.

Today, I thought about all of our foster babies who are growing up in foster care.

Today, I crossposted our transport run sheet for this coming weekend, begging for the last two legs to fill.

Today, I set up travel arrangements for tomorrow’s neuter appointments.

Today, I called in our credit card to three different vet clinics and spent nearly half of our bank balance on sick pups.

Today, I cried when I realized that a pup I’d had my eye on (but that we had no room in rescue for) died yesterday because no one was able to step up for him. Myself included.

Today, I answered emails, returned phone calls, and checked applications.

Today, I ignored my own dogs because I was so busy taking care of everyone else’s.

Today, I had a foster returned to my home from a failed trial.

Today, I wracked my brain for ways to make 10 foster pups fit into 5 foster homes with 1 pup in each home. (Let me know if you can figure that one out.)

Today, I lugged a heavy dog crate from my house, to my car, to my house, to my car, to my house.

Today, I emailed all of our foster contacts, posted on facebook and on our blog begging for a short-term foster home for a returned pup so that she won’t have to go to boarding. (No luck yet.)

Today, I started addressing Christmas cards and smiled when I looked at the cute pups on the front that we saved this year. (78 and counting in 2010.)

Today, I cringed thinking of our 9 month old puppy getting a double-whammy tomorrow – ¬†losing her family & being moved directly into boarding (which, let’s be honest, can be scary for puppies). :/

Today, I am going to bed tired, frustrated, and with a heavy heart.

Today, I feel like we failed.

Today, I want to quit.

And tomorrow? I’ll try again.

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4 Responses to “Today.”

  1. Joan Says:

    How to respond to this? Compassion is a wonderful thing. Keep believing. Joan

  2. Heather Rial Says:

    Just wanted you to know I love you Court and BonnieBlue for every little and big thing you do! No one ever said life is fair, cuz it sure isnt…and no matter how hard you work and how many doggies you save, you will never be able to save them all. It is a sad dilemma but living on this planet is not easy, there will always be homeless people, kids, dogs – hungry ones too – sick ones, injured ones, sad ones, and broken ones – and all you can do is what YOU can do – and I know you know that! You really are making a difference – Your work and your dedication do not go unnoticed – you are a saviour to many and many more to come – You are a Blessing Courtney – I just wanted you to know that~

  3. Ron Lane Says:

    And today you need to think of all the good things you have done over the years and the animals you saved that might not have been. Oh and by the way, Olivia and Delta send their thanks and love.

  4. Jim Stay Says:

    … and without you those 78 would not be here. So you will do it again on many tomorrows. The dogs all bless you for it.

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